How obsessions lead to super powers
Understanding how our childhood fantasies of having super powers are actually a tip of what we want out of life (and what we’ll be good at).
As a kid, I was fascinated by the possibility of having super powers. Until an age I won’t admit, I tried to figure out which one I had and when it was going to activate.
I grieved the day I realized that moment wasn’t going to come, though a part of me deep down still thinks it could.
I look back on my childhood and see this as the seed of belief that there is something greater going on out there, that we’re connected to it, and that great things will come to those who choose to believe and tap into it.
To this day, I still love asking people: “If you could have a superpower, what would it be?” because it tells me what their soul wants.
I’ll share mine with you so it gives you insight into my obsessions, I have two:
Flying
Telepathy
A desire to fly speaks to my longing for freedom and the ability to see far into the distance. My soul craves an ease of movement to go in any direction and get the kind of clarity you get from the top of a mountain or building. I want to look past the surface of my own struggles or of those around me and easily connect to my deeper inner knowing —something I usually struggle accessing when I’m in a confined space or around other people.
Not to mention, as a fan of the Irish exist, I always thought this would be a pretty cool way to do it.
But, if I had to pick one, it would be telepathy.
From as far back as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with the human experience and wanted the ability to read people’s minds and dive into their inner worlds.
I am fascinated by the fact that, although we all live in the same outer, material world, our own inner worlds completely dictate our interpretations. The thing separates us, that can lead to disconnection, and loneliness, is the quality of our inner world, a world only we have access to. And, a world we have complete creative control over.
My desire to feel close to people is something like an energy stream or frequency that’s constantly coursing through me.
Which, may be why I’m allergic to small talk. Small talk actually breaks my heart. Until I knew this, or had the capacity to navigate it, I would either shut down when I felt trapped in a shallow conversation or slowly (and literally) back away from it. (Flying would also be a great solution for these moments).
You can imagine how bad I am at networking events and how I’ve ended up in a career as a connection specialist, using conversation as my creative art form to guide people and design experiences that foster deeper connection. And, while I’ve spent over a decade in this “field,” I am still completely humbled by the daily practice of heart-centered communication.
I believe conversation is one of the most intimate, and collaborative acts we can experience together (along with dance, but I can’t always get everyone to dance with me 😏).
Naval Ravikant, an entrepreneur, investor, and modern-day philosopher, talks about the importance of developing ‘specific knowledge’ and turning it into a career path.
Specific knowledge is something that can’t be taught or trained.
It starts when we’re young, with our natural obsessions and passions, and over time develops into a unique skillset that differentiates us from others.
If you’re unsure what yours might be, ask a family member or friend who knew you when you were young — they can often share stories that give us clues about what our earliest fascinations and talents were.
My obsession with the human experience started from a very young age and has evolved over decades into my unique and specific knowledge.
Even as I sit here writing this newsletter from a place I frequently work (and workout from), a person who’s apparently been observing me (his words) just approached me to ask if I ever take time to have fun because he always sees me either working or working out.
I smiled in appreciation, and told him that sitting here writing about my human experience is fun for me.
Your specific knowledge will look like work to others, and feel like play to you.
As I think about the people in my life I feel the most connected to, they are people who find going deep fun.
I appreciate them because I don’t need to be telepathic to know them, or to expend energy trying to connect meaningfully because they, like me, easily, and happily divulge their inner worlds on their own.
Until I realized how important openness and curiosity were to me, I had difficult experiences with ‘friends’ in my 20s. They’d tell me I was too intense, which at the time was heart-breaking, but I just hadn’t met other people who matched my desire and capacity to bond through vulnerability.
Before I knew this was actually my super power, I internalized their projections. Over time, my light dimmed, which happens when we don’t authentically explore our obsessions and live purposefully.
Today, I can discern when I come across people who haven’t wanted to meet their own depth yet, and not take it personally. Sometimes, I get lucky and they’re ready to start —I love to be a catalyst.
Ok, so back to super powers.
While we may not have them in the superhero sense, I believe we all have obsessions (specific areas of knowledge that are our super powers). My fascination with the human experience has given me a life filled with endless curiosity and meaningful connections. In some ways, because I care so much about the human journey on an emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical level, I can easily tap into this for others.
And, if one day I woke up with the actual super power of being able to read someone’s mind, my one caveat is that I would want them to know I could.
I would want them to know that I understand the great responsibility that comes along with this super power and that they are safe with me. That no thoughts are too much or too shameful. To see me as someone who is here to explore, expand, and enrich their minds with them, and together.
Integration
What super power do you wish you had? Why do you want this super power? How would you use this super power for good?
What’s one thought you’ve had that you haven’t told anyone yet?
Who in your life will you see or call this week to tell this to?
Flying,
Ashley
CEO + Founder, Liminal
P.S. Get into a mindset of feeling into your super power(s) with this meditation.