🦋 How to get rid of your comfort zone
When we learn how to live in harmony with our fear, our truth gets louder and louder. Answer these questions and find out what truth lives on the other side of your comfort zone.
Liminalist is for people who want to spend their lives working creating.
This week we talk about the relationship between fear and truth, courage and comfort. I give my personal reasons to go towards truth and do my best to try and convince you to do the same.
Included in this newsletter:
Comfort zone facts
My very personal list of fears I experience daily
Favorite quotes on comfort zones
Question guide to help you understand your fears and get rid of your comfort zone
Also, if you have 1 minute to fill out this survey, I would love your feedback so I can write more of what you like, and less of what you don’t.
Let’s dive in. 🐇🕳️
Let's begin with some facts about comfort zones, otherwise known as "anxiety-neutral" zones:
You were not born with your comfort zone.
Your life experiences resulted in a set of mental models that created your comfort zone.
Your growth does not exist living inside your comfort zone.
You are comfortable with what you understand, but there’s a lot you don’t understand.
Your comfort zone is a roadmap of your limiting beliefs and fears.
If reading those made you uncomfortable than you’re in the right place.
This week's newsletter is for you if you want to redraw your map of familiar territories into a map of possibilities. Trusting that every step you take out of your comfort zone is a step closer to the real you → the you that came before your comfort zone.
I am the poster child for “living without a comfort zone,” but the truth is, for most of my life, my fearlessness was a mask I wore to cover up what I was actually doing— trying to escape myself.
Today, after years devoted to going inward, I step out of my comfort zone because it brings me closer to myself.
And for the first time in my life, my truth is louder than my fear.
The goal of this newsletter is to inspire you to turn up the volume on your truth. 🔊
A non-goal is getting rid of your fear.
I’m going to fill you on a little secret about fear—you’ll never get rid of it, and you’re not supposed to.
Fear is a normal, healthy human feeling.
And our truth volume turns up when we learn to live with our fear in harmony with all the other beautifully complex aspects of Self, while not identifying with it.
Here are some of my fears that are with me every day:
I won’t be able to have kids when I am ready to.
I’ll never feel financially secure.
I’ll never feel at peace and comfortable in my body.
I’ll let my team and loved ones down or they’ll leave me and that will hurt.
I may never be able fully translate the visions I have in my head for curing loneliness.
And the list goes on…
In the past, when I gave in to these fears, I ended up in the wrong relationships, accepted jobs purely for the money, neglected my self-care, pushed away those who cared about me, and lost faith in my vision.
And I knew I was hiding in my comfort zone because my body started telling me something was off — face break outs, stomach aches, constantly catching the latest cold or flu, throwing my back out, random injuries, the list goes on.
For decades I tried to ignore the signs, but every year the message from my body got louder and louder, until one day it got so loud, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Historically, I would resort to my favorite distractions in these kind of moments—comfort food, (over) exercising, dating, and traveling. But this time I tried stillness instead.
Stillness is not my comfort zone.
But I was so fed up I was ready to try something I was afraid of — figuring out who I am without my distractions.
The results flooded in like a dam being lifted from a river.
My ailments magically diminished (it’s been almost a year without getting sick!), connection with others deepened, and anything that wasn't meant for me was quickly swept out of my life, like a leaf caught in a whirlwind.
Michael Singer says,
The world doesn’t fit inside your comfort zone.
Audre Lorde says,
When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Brené Brown says,
You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.
My invitation today is to get larger than your comfort zone, dare to be powerful and try on courage and see how it feels.
Turn what might usually be an immediate, unconscious no into a liberated yes and see what happens.
I promise you, your comfort zone will not disappear. However, a pleasant side effect of saying yes is that it will expand. Honestly, that's the worst-case scenario.
Why is it important to do this?
If you don’t learn to love new experiences, you’ll always be afraid of them.
If you don’t allow new experiences to flood your day, you’ll always feel stuck or confused.
And if you push them away, they’ll just keep coming back, so you might as well give in now anyways. 😉
We get rid of our comfort zone when we choose truth (and love) over fear.
Here’s a guide to help you get rid of your comfort zone:
What in your life currently feels hard for you? Write a list.
My therapist taught me that when something feels hard it’s because it’s something you fear. So based off of the list above, outline your fears.
In what ways have these fears held you back in the past year or kept you “safely” in your comfort zone?
Who are you without your fear? Be as descriptive as possible here.
What does this version of yourself want to make happen?
What is one step you can take this week in that direction?
If you would like to join a guided session on an expanded version of these questions in a small group, hit reply and let me know.
Expanding my comfort zone,
Ashley
P.S. If you read this newsletter and have 1 minute to give feedback, I would love to hear what you love, don’t love and want more of!
The Liminalist is a free weekly newsletter for people who want to spend their life working creating.
It’s created in support of Liminal, the step you take after your wake up call.
We are an educational platform to learn about yourself and take purposeful action through self-learning tools, progress-driven coaching and community experiences.
Questions? I am here to be your Growth Guide. Book a free 30 minute call and get clarity on what you need to do next.
Thank you for this Ashley, it resonates with the fears I have which I know holds me back. I’ve been trying to step out of my comfort zones, again, thank you for the reminder.
Xoxo
Silvia ❤️