🦋 Women are the leaders of remote work
But you don’t have to be a woman to be good at it. Here is a comprehensive guide with my top 3 actionable tips on how to create Belonging Rituals and become a better leader and remote worker.
What do Elon Musk, Eric Schmidt, Tim Cook and Paul Graham have in common? Besides the obvious…
They’ve all spoken out against remote work.
Musk’s exact comment was that remote work is "morally wrong bullshit.”
Is it surprising to hear that these traditionalist business leaders, who achieved success in an era where working 80-hour weeks in an office was considered a badge of honor, are against figuring out a way to make remote work work?
Not at all.
To them, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
But it is broke.
And we have a nation full of people who are stressed out, have chronic illness, and are battling inequality in the workplace to prove it.
This old system that “worked” for an embarrassingly small percentage of men is outdated.
Like the low-fat diet from the 90s, people are waking up and realizing that sitting in a box every day with fluorescent lighting and glass walls doesn’t feel good.
But they are craving human connection, and rightfully so.
I’ve noticed this PR narrative going around that these leaders “tried and it didn’t work.”
I’d like to know exactly what was tried?
Did they take into consideration that they tried during a highly stressful moment in time? Did they consider that it not working was because their culture sucks and not because people were now working from home? Was there conscious thought put towards how to go about replacing the belonging rituals that existed in the office?
Belonging rituals are things like walking by colleagues every day to hug or shake hands, or bumping into each other at the coffee station to talk about how their holidays went.
All of these are activities upper management can’t take credit for because they happened naturally.
But those days are over. It’s time for upper management to get involved.
There is now an expectation for a healthy workplace culture, which includes remote work, and it’s a non-negotiable for younger generations and women.
And here are some stats to prove it:
83% of Millennials are more actively engaged when they believe their company fosters an inclusive culture. (Deloitte)
82% of Millennials reported they are more productive when working remotely.
(Deloitte)
40% of Millennials and Gen Z would rather be unemployed than work for a company with a poor reputation. (Randstad)
76% of women in professional jobs believe remote work options are critical for their career advancement and overall job satisfaction. (PwC)
To me it seems like there’s a clear “if this, then that” formula that has emerged:
If a company had an unhealthy workplace culture when they were in office, then they didn’t do well when they transitioned to remote work.
Not so shocking now, huh? 😏
Because when you give a group of people without shared values freedom, there’s no longer 4 walls forcing them to stick together. The problem isn’t remote work, it’s a lack of loyalty, community, respect, and human understanding.
So here’s where my opinion comes in.
Women are better at leading remote teams because we are natural community builders and have high emotional intelligence (EQ).
EQ includes traits like self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy and social skills.
For me personally, these are all traits I was naturally born with and I don’t need to exert effort here, so incorporating belonging rituals into my remote work culture doesn’t feel like work, it’s just who I am.
And because it’s in my DNA, it’s in my company’s DNA.
Like most women, I have strong intuition and a keen ability to gather and pick up on subtle cues, which gives me a good sense of how each of my team members is doing.
And it turns out Empathy is just something women are more likely to have.
For example, I notice when an engineer is slightly less active in a day or when the written tone of someone on my marketing team becomes a bit sharper. And when I notice these things, I don’t avoid it, I reach out and check in on them.
For someone who doesn’t understand the value of human connection (also for the bottom line), this might feel like a distraction or waste of time, but as the saying goes - your people are your product.
If your team knows you care, they care too.
With the shift to a remote culture, more thought and experimentation needs to be woven into daily activities. And while there’s a fight to bring people back into the office now, with technology innovation and climate change, there’s no denying that the future is remote. Even if it’s being delayed by the older generations.
Some of the skills required to lead successful remote teams aren’t easy to learn in a guide (EQ, values, conscious communication), but some are.
So, with my team at Liminal, we created a comprehensive guide on how to integrate Belonging Rituals into the DNA of your remote culture (many apply for in office too!)
I’ve broken them down into 3 categories:
How to build relationships during meetings
How to organize your day
How to use Slack to drive closeness
(brought to you by my Head of Product, the Queen of Slack, Zoë Björnson)
I recommend picking 1 from each category to implement for the next month and see what happens.
⭐️ I put stars next to the ones that I think drive the greatest impact.⭐️
TIP 1: BUILD RELATIONSHIPS DURING MEETINGS
⭐️ All Team bonding: I’ve started every weekly All Team for the past 7 years with a question. I pick a new person each week to start, and then we popcorn to everyone. These questions have nothing to do with work. They are personal questions for us to get to know each other better.
Here are my top 6 favorites out of over 300:
(They drove the best responses and feelings of closeness with one another).
What unknown territory are you navigating right now?
What’s a pet peeve you have that no one knows? (this one is hilarious)
What’s a rabbit hole you recently found yourself going down?
What do you want? or what’s missing in your life right now?
If you could ask this room of humans for support on anything, what would it be?
What is something that were afraid to do but glad you did?
Get a little personal in your 1:1s: Every 1:1 at my company starts with sharing how we’re both doing for 5 minutes. It’s hard to be human right now, and important that we check in on each other and make sure our emotional wellbeing is doing well. Another recommendation is making every 6th 1:1 a personal check-in entirely.
Group Zoom Etiquette: “Praise in public, criticize in private."
Build morale by showing appreciation and support in group meetings and give feedback in your 1:1s. This can be done verbally, in the chat thread, and through reactions. Drive participation and engagement by setting a healthy example of what it looks like yourself.
TIP 2: ORGANIZE YOUR DAY FOR PRODUCTIVITY AND CONNECTION
Turn your day into a consistent habit by breaking it down into these 3 categories:
Focus : Collaboration : Defocus
Repetition is key so that people know when you are available and when you’re not. Honor your calendar.
Here’s an example of my work day:
⭐️ Focus from 9-11:30AM: 2-3 big tasks you can get done in the same 3 hour window every day. (Decide what these are the night before)
11:30AM Food Time
Collaboration from 12-4PM: Batch meetings and can be somewhat available on Slack
Defocus from 4-6PM: Tackle “5 minute” tasks (answer emails, respond to social messages, pull results from experiment) and be available on Slack (Slack tips below ⬇️
At the end of your day, pick the top 2-3 projects you want to complete in your Focus time tomorrow.
Here’s what today looks like for me:
TIP 3: UTILIZE SLACK TO DRIVE CONNECTION
Slack tips:
⭐️Use your status. Tell your team what you’re working on, when you’re on a break, or when you’re at an appointment. It’ll create transparency and curb messages when you’re focused or unavailable. This is the best way for your team to “see you.” Our favorite team status is: 🪫 Not Feeling 100% for use when someone’s sick or going through an emotional wave.
🤡 Write updates like you’re talking to a 5 year old. Our attention spans are dwindling, there’s no need to fight it. When you’re writing an update in Slack about a project or requesting participation, make it easy to digest. Include emojis, line breaks, gifs, etc. We work on Slack, so let’s make work fun.
🔔 Use reminders for your team to reflect. Set up a weekly reminder for your team to share what they’re proud of at the end of each week. This builds up pride and creates a moment of celebration for anything, big or small.
💬 Responses > Emoji. Emojis are great to add support, celebrate a message, or emphasize your agreement, but if someone asks a question and needs an answer to move forward, an emoji is not enough because they won’t get notified. Send an actual message like you would reply verbally in a meeting.
📷 Treat Slack like your desk. In a remote environment, coworkers can’t walk up to your desk and experience you. Share photos of your life in Slack to connect with coworkers or share a favorite song or recipe. It’s these little watercooler moments that make a big difference.
Example from Wednesday in our #TeamLove channel:
I hope this was helpful! Please hit reply or comment with questions.
Back to Focus time,
Ashley
P.S. I am opening 10 free Career & Purpose Coaching slots in my calendar for next week. This is for anyone who hasn’t worked with me or tried out Liminal yet.