Don’t Rush Me
In a culture that promotes hustle and biohacking, how do we slow down to live in our natural biological rhythm? 🏁
The theme song for this week’s newsletter is “Don’t Rush Me” by Taylor Dayne— I think you’d have a lot of fun right now if you pressed play and danced it out before you continued reading.
Welcome back. 💃🏼
Serendipitously, this song was written the year I was born. The topic I want to share today started then, too — what I'll refer to as my “birth pattern.” A birth pattern is when you experience something at birth or in the womb that then replays as a pattern or theme throughout your life as an area of or opportunity for personal growth.
In this case, I was born on July 1st, a few weeks before my due date, as a C-section. And, I was breech (meaning my feet were positioned at the bottom of the uterus, not head, which happens to ~3% of full term births).
Being born early meant that I didn’t “decide” I was ready, it was decided for me. Water breaking is the sign that the baby feels ready and could be seen as the first act of agency for this new little human to come into the world. Being breech could also suggest that I was pretty cozy in there and not 100% ready to take on the big, bad world.
I don’t share this to say anything wrong happened, quite the contrary. I believe this scenario was designed for me, or destined for me, and plays an important role in what it means to be me. So Mom, as you’re reading this, know I’m very happy with how it all played out. 🤗
So, here’s my birth pattern: I’m especially susceptible to succumbing to the external pressures of other people’s timelines and have unconsciously chosen environments to keep this reality in motion in every aspect of my life in order to heal this pattern. In other words, I've felt rushed my whole life. Like I’m never doing enough or moving fast enough. That I’m always behind. As a result, I’ve experienced an underlying anxiety to meet people’s needs over learning to listen to my own. Until now.
This year, I slowed down.
I silenced the noise around me and prioritized developing a relationship with my natural Biological Rhythm.1 I fall asleep when the sun goes down and rise when it goes up. I take incredibly long walks to remind myself how simple it is to move forward and at a pace that feels natural to me. I’ve learned that when we slow down, our bodies have the space to communicate to us and tell us everything we need to know.
Now, I know that when something is right for me, I get goosebumps or my body leans forward. Before, I would waste so much energy trying to figure it out with my head. In the slowing down, I am the happiest I have ever been.
And, the big surprise is that when we slow down, things don’t stop moving forward. It’s the opposite. Slowing down creates the space for what is meant to be to come to the surface. We have to do very little to move forward. Much less effort is required to be exactly where we’re meant to be.
In this time, I’ve launched a new company, moved to a new city, and made new friends. I’ve developed a relationship with myself like I’ve never had before. Slowing down to speed up feels like an accurate description of my past 4 months.
Awareness
We live in a hustle culture.
A culture that tells us if we slow down, we fall behind.
A culture that promotes biohacking ways to live longer without being present and perfect the number of days we already have.
A culture that reminds women that their biological clock is ticking, daily.
There’s a timeline pressure — inflicted by family, coworkers, friends and/or societal norms. We create routines for excellence and when we stop or fall behind, we shame ourselves instead of acknowledging that systems are meant to support cycles, not override them. Seasons change, as do we, and what we need to evolve often comes with that shift.
One of the (many) post-it notes I have in my home includes mantras that help remind me to slow down and be present. My current favorite: time is on my side.
Integration
Take a nap today.
When you wake up, explore these questions:
What is your first memory of feeling rushed or behind?
Where do you feel rushed in your life right now?
Are you honoring your timeline?
As someone who has recently become more aware of her natural rhythm, I want to support others to do the same. I recommend joining Liminal to find a coach that will support your goals.
Not rushing,
Ashley
Biological rhythm is a phrase often used interchangeably with circadian rhythm. These rhythms are a series of bodily functions regulated by your internal clock. They control cycles like sleep and wakefulness, body temperature, hormone secretion, and more. Your light exposure, eating habits, and other environmental cues can maintain or disrupt your biological rhythms. Disrupting your biological rhythms can lead to serious health problems.