🦋 The real reason you're burnt out
While it’s easy to blame your boss, long work hours, and the general exhaustion of day-to-day life, the real reason starts and ends with you.
Liminalist is for people who want to spend their lives working creating.
This newsletter explores the real reason you are experiencing burnout, specific examples and guidance on how to reclaim your energy.
Also, if you have 1 minute to fill out this survey, I would love your feedback so I can write more of what you like, and less of what you don’t.
Let’s dive in. 🐇🕳️
The real reason you are burnt out is because you feel powerless.
Notice I didn’t say because you are powerless.
Because you’re not.
But deep in your psyche you don’t believe you deserve to have the power you were born with, so you give it away to anyone or anything that tests you.
Giving away your power means living from the outside in, and allowing the circumstances around you to be the primary driver of your life.
Some examples:
You’re constantly seeking approval or comparing yourself to others.
You struggle to make decisions, living in a land of confusion, or ask others to make them for you.
You do something because you feel pressured by cultural or societal expectations.
You’re afraid of trying new things and stepping outside of your comfort zone.
You struggle to establish healthy boundaries at home or work.
You’re uncomfortable spending time alone or don’t feel whole without a relationship.
You have an anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment style.
I could keep going but I think you get the point. 😬
In my 15 years working with thousands of people in different communities, I’ve come across a grand total of 5 people who don’t struggle with 1 or more on this list.
In other words, welcome to the very large club of people who are also navigating this and know you are not alone.
I have 4 working titles for this club, cast your vote:
Why is this club so big?
My answer to that would fill a book, with a strong patriarchal undertone, but for now I’ll say I believe it’s getting passed down through generations.
And while many of us have spent time in therapy combing through our childhoods like a Nancy Drew assignment, I want to boldly name it is no ones fault that you weren’t taught to own or be comfortable in your power.
Blaming or living in your past is a form of giving away your power.
I don’t say this to diminish your emotional experience, because it is valid and always will be.
But we’ve all been children at one point or another and have all felt rejected, neglected, lonely, not good enough, misunderstood, uncool, weird, etc.
The important thing to consider is how it’s serving you to obsess over you past.
In my experience, very little.
So how do you let go of your past and reclaim your power?
The short answer is self-love and reparenting work so that you can finally meet the real you. Meeting the real you means you have a connection to self.
Without self-connection, there’s no human connection.
Without self-connection, you’ll continue to give away your power.
You’ll stay in unsatisfying relationships or unfulfilling jobs. You’ll continue to feel powerless and burnt out.
Every time you don’t let your truth guide you, you leak your power, and just like a candle, your flame will go out.
Try this noticing exercise:
It’s time to look around you and see where your power is leaking. Hint: follow your fears to find out.
→ Notice where you do or say something out of fear of the unknown, loss, or rejection.
→ Notice where you feel lit up, and where you don’t.
→ Notice where you’re trapped in your head unable to make a decision.
→ Notice where you play small and stay inside your comfort zone.
In my experience, if a pattern exists at work, it’s also hanging out as a pattern in your personal life, delivering the same gift of wisdom with slightly different wrapping paper.
This doesn't mean that you need to upheave every aspect of your life simultaneously.
Begin by focusing on the area where you feel most prepared to reclaim your power. As you make progress there, you'll notice its positive impact on every other area of your life as well.
Go to bed and wake up asking yourself the question:
How can I bring alignment into my (insert area of life you want to focus on).
Then release the question and focus on how you can bring ease and appreciation into your day.
Do things that get you into your body, spend time alone without distractions, and take care of yourself.
I hear your brain telling me how impossible this is because you’re so busy, and I hear you, but that’s another form of giving away your power. Start with 5 minutes a day.
Let me know how it goes. 🤸🏼
The Liminalist is a free weekly newsletter for people who want to spend their life working creating.
It’s created in support of Liminal, the step you take after your wake up call.
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Photo by the electric and magical, Kelly Bach ✨