What’s your joy point?
Being purpose-driven can be so fulfilling, but it can also make you feel like you're not doing enough. Here are some tips to help you find your joy point and WHY
For startups, the first slide of an investment deck is all about “the problem.”
This slide outlines the pain point a company aims to solve, followed by the three largest statistics that support the foundation upon which the company is built.
In the decks for my companies, the problem slide has always been a variation on the mental health crisis: highlighting the negative consequences of social media, the rise of the loneliness epidemic, and the deconstruction of third-places that build our local communities.
As my previous company grew, I got the title “purpose-driven” founder. I adopted it with pride (and a healthy dose of ego).
Purpose has played a hyper-focused, directional role in my life. I’ve felt connected to mine since my earliest childhood memories. And because I feel connected to my purpose, there wasn’t a day that went by—while capital raising, team building, going through a co-founder break up, evolving during Covid, navigating my own health scares — where I once wavered on my desire to keep going. Because, purpose.
Knowing what your true north is can be such a gift.
It can also make you feel like you’re never doing enough.
Solving the mental health crisis became my identity and something I obsessed over every day for many years. I felt the pain people experience while struggling with their mental health and spent my days wracking my brain trying to come up with solutions to alleviate that pain. I completely ignored warning signs of my own declining well-being along the way, too.
When my previous company concluded, there wasn’t much left of me to give so I cocooned. I realized that unless I am connected to my light, I can’t support others in doing the same. In my own healing process, I focused on two things: unlocking my creativity and nourishing myself.
As the light started to flicker again, I popped my head out of my cocoon and started talking to people. To say I was fire-hosed by other people’s advice on what to do next is an understatement. Because people genuinely want to be helpful, so when you ask them to they’ll try. And it’s really sweet. But, the reality is most people suck at giving advice. Because instead of asking you questions and guiding you to discover your own answer, they tell you theirs.
Most of the advice I got was directing me right back to the problem I wanted to solve and to look at the pain I experienced in my most formative years.
I’m sure you can imagine the spiral I went down. 🤪🌀
Frustrated by my dead ends and complete resistance to explore my pain, I went on a walk. On my walk, my dear friend, Sarah Hanner (who just so happens to be a brilliant psychologist and healer) serendipitously called me. I cried telling her where I felt stuck and she said “Ashley, fuck finding the pain point, what brings you joy?”
She was right. I don’t want to identify with my pain. I want to identify with what brings me joy. I want to wake up every day doing something that brings me joy and trusting that if it does for me, it will for others.
And if it doesn’t, that’s ok, because I just spent my days feeling joy.
What else is there?
I meditated on joy before sleep every night for a week and asked my dreams to bring me messages. Two things surfaced for me:
I love bringing people together. Sparking human connection is something I'm very passionate about, that comes naturally, and the thread that weaves my whole professional journey together.
I am obsessed (clearly) with spiritual growth and transformation. I’m in a 20 year rabbit hole and only going deeper.
Integration
Take a couple of moments this week to reflect on these questions to support you in finding your joy point. I’m curious to know what comes up for you.
What pain do you identify with that’s no longer serving you?
What brings you joy? What do you find yourself doing without effort?
Ask a close friend or two this question: Why are we friends? It’ll be a quick and fun way to find your WHY.
Joyfully,
Ashley
Thank you for sharing this journey Ashley! Lots of great insight here.